


Deleted Scene: White Knights: Jax Edition

by Python07



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Firestorm bond, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Companion fic to Deleted Scene: White Knights -- Jax feels some things he's not used to and he's unprepared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deleted Scene: White Knights: Jax Edition

//Both halves of Firestorm should’ve died together.//

The thought ripped through his mind and it wasn’t Jax’s. Still, it echoed in his head, leaving something sharp and jagged in its wake. He savagely bit the inside of his cheek to keep from whimpering.

The others continued discussing the plan to rescue Martin, Mick, and Ray from Savage. The argument was just background noise. 

Jax’s heart raced. His palms were suddenly sweating. He swallowed a wave of nausea.

//Ronald, you were never supposed to leave me so alone.//

Jax wanted to reach out, to offer comfort, but he didn’t know how. His stomach was in knots. He didn’t notice when his hands started trembling. 

“Jax.”

Jax barely heard Sara. She must’ve taken a break from trying to referee between Len and Rip. He blinked but he couldn’t focus. He felt like he was slow and sinking, like he was being sucked down in a pit of quicksand.

“He’s shaking.”

That was Kendra’s concerned voice. He looked at her with glassy eyes. His voice was barely a whisper. “I am?”

//If one of us had to die, it should’ve been me. Then this mess would never have arisen.//

Jax felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He jumped to his feet, knocking his chair over. He ran out of the conference room.

Jax didn’t make it to the bathroom. He stumbled and landed, hard, on his hands and knees. His stomach finally rebelled, the bile rose in his throat, and he vomited on the deck.

Jax crawled to the nearest wall and sat with his back against it. He brought his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and squeezed his eyes shut. His breath came in short, jerky gasps. There was a sour taste in his mouth. He had a full blown headache behind his eyes.

“Jax,” Rip said softly.

Jax felt Rip crouched down in front of him. He didn’t look at him. “Sorry,” he said in a small voice.

“It’s okay. Gideon’s taking care of it.” Rip gently took Jax’s arm. “Can you stand?”

Jax took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He couldn’t meet Rip’s compassionate gaze. “I think so.”

“Come on then.”

Jax let Rip help him to his feet. He was barely aware of Rip walking him to his quarters. He didn’t speak until he felt Rip push him down onto the edge of his bunk and press a bottle of water and two pills into his hands.

“For your head.” Rip sat next to Jax, close enough to provide comfort, but not touching. “What happened?” he asked softly.

Jax downed the pills. He chugged half the bottle to get rid of the sour taste. He wiped the back of his mouth with his sleeve. He fiddled with the label instead of looking at Rip. “I’m not sure. All of a sudden, I heard Stein’s voice in my head, but he wasn’t talking to me. I think he was talking to himself.”

“What was he thinking?”

Jax sat forward. He pressed the cold bottle to his forehead. “It’s personal,” he grumbled.

Rip put a hand on Jax’s back. He rubbed in soothing circles. “Jax, tell me.”

Jax set his jaw. “The two halves of Firestorm should’ve died together.”

Rip winced. “Ronnie Raymond.”

Jax chugged the rest of the bottle and crushed it. “He also thinks if one of them had to die, it should’ve been him.” He shook his head and sighed heavily. “I’ve never felt such grief and pain from him…the guilt and fear…I…I can’t remember the bond ever being this forceful, this intense.”

“I believe I may have an explanation for that,” Gideon offered.

Jax’s head shot up. “What do you mean?”

“Professor Stein has shielded his end of the bond for some time. It seems that he is no longer in a position to keep doing so.”

“Why?” Jax asked harshly.

“I would think it is taking all of his considerable will to fend off Savage,” Gideon answered readily. “The man is a master manipulator.”

“No!” Jax snapped. “I mean why would the Professor shield himself in the first place.”

“Why would he not?” Gideon asked, puzzled, but no judgment in tone. 

“Gideon,” Rip tried to interject.

Jax jumped to his feet. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. He glared at the ceiling. “No. Let the computer talk.”

Gideon’s tone was clinical. “From what I have observed of your relationship, I do not believe that he thought you would listen.”


End file.
